Last week, I’ve answered the question on Working Mom – Helping or Harming my Child by Working and while research seemed to give the thumbs up for working mom in terms of parenting, there’s still a lot of Ds over Chores.
Divide – How do you divide chores equitably between both parents?
Divided – Why is chores always a matter of stress and contention in dual-income families? (and a topic that keeps on coming up when mothers get together)
Dread – Ever heard of someone getting excited over chores?
Delegate – How do you delegate chores to kids?
Damn it, just get it over with! (week after week after week… is there chores in heaven?)
Chores is also something most commonly nagged about and I’ve got comments in my Am I Really Nagging? post whether I’m helping men to find excuse not to do chores, because I’ve said
#1 First ask yourself – Do you really want him to do it or is it easier if you just do it? Put aside equality of sexes and fairness, and consider seriously. If you can answer no and yes, just do it yourself. And read on.
I admit that I’m stumped when it comes to chores. I used to do chores grudgingly, resentfully because I think my spouse has to do the same thing that I do. But it gradually evolved to an appreciation that he does chores that I don’t do and there’s no need to calculate chores. Now, I’m at the stage of ‘Leave me alone to do my chores’ and ‘Can you do this other chore, please?’. It has been working peacefully for the past 2 years.
YET sometimes chores is a real chore. AND many working moms continue to do more chores. Let’s look at some of the studies:
OECD study showed that women spend more time on chores, read this Time article ‘ Closing the Chore Gap‘
Report that showed women spending 17.8 hours per week on chores and men spending 9.8 hours (for couples with kids below 18)
Interesting infographics on Cozi that showed women tended to perceive doing more chores
In Chore Wars: Working Mother Report – working moms still do more chores but millennial dads are doing more housework than their babyboomer dads
So chores are indeed tricky:
1st, it’s a dread
2nd, what chores need to be done is often perceived very differently by every family member
3rd, how much chores had actually been done by who is also perceived very differently
4th, is it right to ask another family member to do what you want done but not agreed by all needs to be done?
I’m stumped when it comes to chores. Every working mom would have found a way of dealing with it. I think that whatever don’t get you cursing under your breath, shouting at the top of your lungs, bottled with negativity is the right way – you don’t need to hear how other working moms manage chores (or their men!). One solution is being creative to keep chores to a minimal – a smaller house, outsourcing, rotating the chore duties and not being hung up on dirt. Some cartoons for you!