Is it OK to have Only One Child?

My hubby, Marcie & Me

I’ve struggled with this issue and like to end 2011 with a ‘preliminary’ conclusion. So, as I always do, I research. And based on recent studies, there is no evidence supporting that the only child will fare worse than children with siblings, in fact fare better in areas of achievement and intelligence. Here’s my pros and cons list.

Since, we’re already on the topic of social development; this research shows that eczema child has more behavioural problems (23% vs 5%), shows signs of fearfulness to strangers (40% vs 10%), more dependent on parents (50% vs 10%) and have sleep difficulty (this, we all know, see this post). 25% of eczema children aged 2-13 years old, 39% aged 14-17 years old and 28% aged above 18 years old are teased or bulled due to eczema. Issues usually arise if the eczema is severe, such as bandages are required or the rash looks quite bad that other children avoid the eczema child. The good news is that behaviour issues are temporary, usually cease when the eczema got better. Moms of eczema children, although much more stressed, are more empathic to their children which help to reduce behavioural issues.

And yes, back to my preliminary conclusion – I think I will have only one child, Marcie. I’m not crazy about kids, and the only reason I’d have another child is for fear of Marcie being lonely and orphaned. I’ll make more effort to foster friendships for her and be happy that we can look forward to a close relationship, early retirement and better quality of life (phew! no struggling with incessant scratching for 2nd child)

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9 thoughts on “Is it OK to have Only One Child?

  1. Dagmar, I’m still struggling struggling… in Singapore, almost everyone has two, or three! The idea of having just one child is not accepted. Every family package at outlets is 2 parents, 2 children!

  2. Do not feel like you need to have another child, just because “other people” have multiple children. I am an only child and I wasn’t always sure I would have a child, but I knew that when I did, that child would be an only child, if I had any say in the matter. It has nothing to do with her, or the fact that she has eczema and food allergies, as I made that decision long before she was even born. I LOVED being an only child! I’m not saying that I was never lonely a day in my life, or anything, but I had cousins to play with when I was little and friends to play with and when play time was over, they went home and I was content. 🙂 It doesn’t bother me that I will be the only one to care for my parents when they are elderly. You can’t guarantee that siblings will work together, anyway. What if you have 2 kids and in 30 years, they live in different countries, or areas, and one refuses to help? You never know what will happen and you can’t have a second child just for that reason. I feel that the same goes for having a “playmate” for a child. You have no idea if they will even get along. It doesn’t seem right to create an entire human being who comes into the world with a “job”, which is to entertain the older sibling and help with the caring of aging parents. Now, if someone wants to have more children because they truly LOVE raising children, and can provide a good life for them, etc., then those are sweet reasons and as I always say, every family size can work just fine, whether it’s one child or ten. I think you will find people who loved being an only child and others who wished they had a sibling and you’ll find some who had siblings who loved it and some who wished they were an only child. You never know what will happen, so I figure you might as well do what works best for your family and make the best of what you have…I really, really would not succumb to “peer pressure”, though. It’s the same here, with the average “2.2” children, and it does not bother me one bit. I’m not going to make another human being just to satisfy a quota! 😉

  3. Thanks Selena! I’m kinda giving myself a deadline to decide before 35! 🙂 Currently, having one child feels just right :)) I’m thinking if I ever like to have another and past my child bearing, I can help via fostering or adoption, just a thought for now.. 🙂

    • Thanks Jenn! I’m so glad to know you through @30secondmom 🙂 Shall look out for that resistance band, if only I can do it while sleeping without sweating lol

      Hugs,
      Mei

  4. Pingback: Confessions of a Mom Caring for Eczema Kindergartener | Eczema Blues

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