Tag: marriage cartoon

To #SkinishMom:

Valentine’s Day is tomorrow!! My husband and I have not had a date night for 4 years (and counting!!). We don’t have a babysitter because it’s too difficult to brief someone (and trust that someone) when my son has eczema and allergies. But I REALLY NEED TO DATE this V-Day! I’m feeling more and more like a mom (and maid) and less and less like a wife! How can I have a date with my husband this V day?

Anna

Whoa! If I live near you, I would help you babysit. Come to think of it, moms of eczema kids should seek out each other and form a play date. After all, we are the only ones who know how to take care of our eczema babies.

Back to solving your date issue, you can still have a date even if you can’t find a babysitter. To me, I think bottom-line I want to feel loved by my spouse and that feeling can come in more ways than being out at a restaurant that’s charging exorbitant price for special valentine’s day menu.

To feel loved, first you have to let go of negative feelings. Calm yourself. Don’t be fixated that you have to date on Feb 14th. You can have a wonderful date any day. If you’re anxious over Feb 14th, your husband can be showering you with TLC that you don’t even notice.

Make your man feel special and let him know you like to have a date. This is the part we sometimes skip to our detriment. It’s impossible to have a nice date if things are forced. (Same for sex.) Just because having a date is a must and number 1 on your wish list doesn’t mean your spouse thinks the same way. How would he know? Especially if everything is like everyday and the past years where you just do your work, your housework, your skincare-for-child work. TALK to your husband, let him know you find him very good, supportive, strong for the family despite the eczema, the career workload and say, ‘I think it’s a good idea to have a date.’ 

With both husband and wife ‘conspiring’ for a date, it’s almost like the date has already started! So here are 8 ideas of dates without finding a babysitter.

1. Choose Friday night, both of you wake up after your child goes to bed and watch a movie at your laptop and get cosy.

2. Order food from your favorite restaurant and serve it like in a restaurant. Get new sets of coloring pencils and toys for your son to play on his own.

3. Choose your child’s nap time to connect with each other. And do so over wine, chips or ice-cream.

4. TV/iPad is a necessary evil (babysitter). An hour of screen time can be just the time you need to date your spouse.

5. Making dates during office lunch hours, when your child is in school.

6. Pay for your child to be in a safe, fun-filled indoor playground while you shop with your husband or sit down for coffee after family meal. Indoor playgrounds can be quite expensive – 20 bucks per hour, cut back on cake and safe 10 bucks already!

7. Make breakfast dates before your son wakes up. It’s a good start to a day to be with your loved one.

8. Ask your parents or nieces/nephews to help out for an hour. It can be an extended family outing but the two of you go off for a coffee while your son is playing with the rest.

Media, restaurants, movies, everything is putting too much focus on making that valentine day special. The more pressure you put on it, the less likely you’ll feel that it’s special. The best dates are the ones that are relaxed, without feeling reaped off and lighting up that love you have for each other. It all starts with the heart.