Ask #SkinishMom – Do I Need a Man?

To: The #SkinishMom

You know.. I know you know… I’m a mom of eczema kid, I’m a daughter, I’m an employee, I’m a wife and each of these come with many duties. Some days I feel like I’m doing EVERYTHING – I mean I’ve even bought my in-laws their mother’s day and father’s day gifts (no one bought me anything), I do ALL the housework and I’ve to make my boss and spouse happy. On these ‘some days’, I’m thinking maybe I don’t need a man after all. Quit my job, live frugally just me and my kid. No man, ever. What do you think?

Mom at Cross-roads

I think… get a coffee. What you need (I know I did in the some days you mentioned) is coffee – along with it, the aroma, the caffeine, the frothy milk, the 20-minute break with a book or music. Alone… it’d make your mood ‘swell’. Did I mention that a 10-year study showed that women who drank two to three cups of caffeinated coffee a day were 15% less likely to develop depression.

On a more serious note – I get you. Taking care of an eczema child is not easy – the skincare, the struggles with your child (who sometimes stubbornly refuses to moisturize), the conflicts with other family members who don’t get the need for skincare. Plus, yeah.. women these days are doing housework + real work. Some days things are easier when you don’t go to work or you only have to clean up and cook for your child (as opposed to child + man).

But… I can never encourage you to D-I-V-O-R-C-E; Matthew 19:6

So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

Plus the joy of a marriage takes time to build – the airy fairy, honeymoon period is so over but real love for a lifetime sets in, if both of you work at it. (At least I’m working on mine!). I do however think the solution may be in managing ‘me-time’, ‘man-time’, ‘work-time’ and ‘chore-time’:

1. Take care of your health – you don’t need permission from any man or any kid to take care of yourself. Exercise releases endorphins that trigger positive feelings (same as morphine!) and boost your bone + health.

2. Reduce time at work – if you’re not gunning to crack that glass ceiling, don’t stay back for the sake of staying back.

3. Take lunch break = ‘Me’ time. If you prefer to do it alone, do so. You’d be surprised – once your colleagues figure out that you have your own stuff to do at lunch, you won’t be missed anymore. Of course, if you are a people person and like hanging out with your colleagues, do so.

4. Take coffee break – a must

5. Increase time spent with your man at home – by reducing time on chores, even reducing time with your kid. When you’re old, sick or lonely, there’s only one guy who’s there for you – the one you took the time to know and to love.

Try the above and don’t forget the coffee,

#SkinishMom