To the #Skinish Mom:
I feel that it is so tough raising a baby with eczema – the scratching, the sleepless nights… Some days I added comments like ‘I’m not having another child cos raising one with skin problem is so tough’ or ‘Do you know how difficult it is?’ but most of the time, I feel that I get back response like ‘They all grow up’ (from my in-laws) or ‘Yeah, I’m tired too’ (from my husband). I’m starting to wonder if I’m wrong to think I have it tough? Why doesn’t ANYBODY think so?
Exasperated Mom
First off, hugs and I know it is tough. Period.
How can it not be? There’s a post on this blog way back in 2011 ‘10 Reasons why Parents with Eczema Child have a Tougher Time‘. Moreover, it’s been CONCLUDED in studies that the stress levels in mothers caring for young children with eczema are equivalent to those mothers of children with severe disabilities. So there you have it, it’s scientifically proven.
Now, back to your question on Why Doesn’t Anybody Think So?
My guess is:
1. Your other half knows but it’s not humanly possible for him to respond lovingly for 15 minutes every time you bring this up, especially if you’re bringing it up 3-5 times a day.
2. Your in-laws know nothing if they are not staying with you and part of the ‘village’ that’s raising your kid. So, best advice, ignore.
3. Nobody is thinking about anything. Therefore, they can’t respond thoughtfully.
4. Nobody is able to wrap their brains around what you’re telling them. Therefore, they can’t respond in the manner you hope they would respond. Particularly true if you’ve gone into so much detail about parenting eczema kids that are confounding and a mystery except to those of us with eczema kids AND you’re telling them so many things but hoping all the time they answer with a simple ‘You have it tough, poor thing’.
Best bet? Tell yourself you have it tough and you deserve to chill. Right now.