We are continuing to understand self-esteem for eczema teens, the first part is published here. I’m very much privileged to have Annie Fox, M.Ed., who is an internationally respected educator, award-winning author and a trusted online adviser, specializing in helping teens become people of good character who’ve got the social courage to do the right thing online and off. Annie is a return guest to my blog, who previously shared on her own teen eczema experience here. I feel confident that she can really help those of you with eczema teens, as Annie had personal experience with eczema and cares deeply for teenagers.
Marcie Mom: For a teenager with eczema, do you recommend that he/she take a different approach to let his/her friends know, depending on their personality? Or is there no need to openly share about eczema?
Annie: When I was dealing with eczema as a teen, I regret not ever having an open conversation with any of my friends about the conditions. We were close friends and shared so many teen secrets, hopes, dreams, but I somehow decided that I couldn’t talk about my eczema. Looking back, I realize that was a mistake on my part. My friends would not have rejected me. Rather than expending all that energy “hiding” the rashes on my arms or on my neck, if I had chosen to talk about it with a few close friends, I could have relaxed when I was with them. So, yes, my advice is, that if you’ve got eczema, it’s not your fault and you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of! Educate people and you will find it easier for yourself in social situations. There is power in honesty.
Marcie Mom: Do you think that posting pictures of his/her eczema on facebook will help or worsen the pressures the teen is facing?
Annie: I don’t know the answer to that one. FB is a very public forum. And there is a group mentality of cruelty on social media. My gut reaction to your question is “no.” I don’t think that would be helpful. In fact, I think it would result in certain people using a teen’s honest posting as an opportunity to be disrespectful and insensitive. It’s a personal choice, of course, but I doubt that one would get the kind of universal acceptance that one was looking for. And then what? You’re left feeling hurt, embarrassed, and upset.
Marcie Mom: Now a tricky question – if a teenager is really bothered by his eczema and feels bad about it, should he hide it by appearing not bothered and ‘cool’ about his skin? Is it even possible to do so?
Annie: I’m not a fan of pretending… even though I was voted Class Actress my senior year in high school. That gives you an idea of what a very skilled “pretender” I was! But like I said before, pretending to be something you’re not expends a lot of emotional energy. It is also very stressful because, actually, to “appear” not bothered about your skin when you are actually extremely bothered… is probably going to stress you out even more! And one thing we know about stress is that it contributes to inflammation! Instead of pretending anything, and stressing yourself out, I would strongly suggest that any teen with eczema, look into studying meditation. There are simple beginning breathing techniques to calm the mind and body. And from there you can learn more about how your mind works and how thoughts (worries about your social standing and the way your skin looks, etc) can be managed so that they don’t control you.
Marcie Mom: Finally, I may not have asked the right questions, as it’s based on what I’ve learnt from other parents. Is there any aspect of teen eczema and self-esteem that I’ve missed out asking?
Annie: You’ve asked very thoughtful questions, Marcie. I thank you for this opportunity to share some of what I know with teens and their parents.
Marcie Mom: Thanks Annie for taking time to share your journey with us, teenage years are so difficult even for those without eczema and those with eczema would certainly appreciate your advice.
For previous post in this series, see